Like many of us, as a young child seeking solace, I was propelled by some quirk of fate, destiny, karma, to stumble upon fantasy fiction. At around the age of seven, I would procure for a few pennies from my local newsagent, the latest edition of my newfound friends and allies. The precise sequence of events and motivation for doing so are lost to me. What matters is the change in my consciousness at this time.
There was a profound shift in the perception of who I was and what life was about. I began to see myself as an individual in a world of other individuals and this nascent facility allowed me to begin a journey of self-discovery that continues to this day. From my experience I suggest there is an inbuilt sense of justice, of fairness, that we are born with, which requires a wise and loving environment to flourish, grow and inform the child psychologically. If this propensity is not acknowledged or abused the resulting scars may take a lifetime to heal, if ever.
The rest of the life is a dynamic fueled by this programming. The child's growing persona is undoubtedly influenced by many factors of sociological and biological necessity, yet I dare to add to this heady mix a somewhat non-fashionable element. This being the uniqueness of individuality. There are many sociologists, linguists, professors who claim such a notion is a legacy of the past and we are no more than a set of social constructs. My perception is diametrically opposed to this and may well be due to my vanity, egotism and desire to not be a member of the herd, the tribe. I suggest that each of us has a residue of primal stuff that cannot be explained, named, dissected. It's what makes us unique.
With this caveat, I return to my descent into other dimensions. At the age of seven, I began my indoctrination. A secret society infiltrated my hungry, fertile, empty playground of a mind. In dusty corners of various habitations, I entered other worlds, dimensions and vanished. To the outside observer, a child was reading a comic. A harmless pastime that aided reading ability. To me it was far from harmless. It came to lay the foundations of rebellion and anarchy.
What do the powerless seek throughout history? Power, obviously. The shape it takes depends on so many factors. Some struggles continue over centuries, some are vast, others tiny. Some appear obvious, others less so, perhaps seeming insignificant to an outside observer. Yet none but the individual can know the true value of personal, intimate empowerment. We may share similarities but each circumstance is unique.
When I use the word 'powerless', it does not refer to a specific group or minority. Without wishing to appear megalomaniacal, I see that the whole of humanity is disempowered in one way or another.
So who is my target audience? I don't know. I am new to this game and am learning a little late in the proceedings. I could venture to do some research and find various lost souls to embrace and find solace and comfort from. I have no such desire. All I can do is return to my masters from A. A. Milne to Steinbeck and beyond. They have instilled in me a desire to find answers to profound questions that resonate within me still. The importance of doing something for the love of it. To not compromise and be true to the passion that led me to embrace their writing and seek. Of course, I would like to share and commune, to relate to my fellow human beings. Of course, it would be wonderful to make a living, enough money to survive but not at the expense of compromise. I suggest there is far too much compromise that waters everything down according to the diktats of the prevailing societal norms. Perhaps it has ever been so. So what if I never publish anything or anyone ever reads anything I write? I love to share and relate, but I don't need to write to do that. To live in isolation is death but the death of the search for the essence of things in order to appear as someone or other is not my desire. However, neither do I wish to judge another, or dare to say I know anything, or that my perception is right.
From Enid Blyton to Seng T'san is just a hop and a leap. After all, the search for treasure is not necessarily about gold doubloons. For me, it's a search for Mystery and like Love, Mystery is sufficient unto itself.
'Returning to the root, we get the essence; Following after appearances, we lose the spirit. If for only a moment we see within, We have surpassed the emptiness of things.'
Seng T'san
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